“These days of November …make me remember. They send
me to the cemetery, at least inwardly. They make aware that I
am not the giver of my own life. Into the cloak of my life is woven
all the affection and tenderness of the people who are not
longer here and whom I remember”(D. Soelle, The Mystery of Death)
November is here. It is a reminder that the year is coming to an end. It also reminds me of the loved ones who left us in this month. In thinking of them I remember, not so much their leaving, but all the joy they brought in to my life. My mom left us when I was still a student in law school. Earlier in that year she suffered a heart failure of some sort and was bed ridden. Winnie, my oldest sister and another mom to me, was coming down every day from her home six or seven blocks away to care for her. It was then decided to move her to Winnie’s home for her care. I was the only one, besides my Dad, who was still living at the home. My Dad moved up to my sister’s home when Mom was moved up there. Even in her semi-conscious state she still was concerned for her children and me in particular since I was not in a settled vocation or position. Winnie told me she often worried that her son Paul was still going from “pillar to post” while all of the other thirteen were settled in their vocations and life plans! It was just one more example of her love. She was more concerned about the wandering son, than her own health. She died on November 15,1952.
Another loved one who left on that day in November was my eldest sister Winifred. She died on the same day in 1998. At one point late on the 14th the onlookers had considered her to have died. Then as the new day began she awoke and disappointedly said “I’m still here?” and then she went to heaven. She was my ‘second mom’. She was constantly inquiring as to my health and progress in studies, etc. Even when I separated from Katherine (my former spouse) she tried to correct the problem. She tried to create an atmosphere of cooperation between us, saying things like “stop trying to blame the other and know you are not without fault.”
It was in November just a year ago that I lost my good friend Bill King. We had a lifetime of being good friends and at least 20 years, of running races together. He too is among the loved ones that I now miss. We disagreed on a lot of issues but as C.S.Lewis said, somewhere, even if we disagreed on the points of view we did agree that they were important.
But November 15th is not only remembered because of loved ones who have left us, it is also the day of birth of Katherine Cosgrove Baker the eldest and first daughter of my eldest daughter Suzanne. The name Katherine is in honor of her grandmother, and Cosgrove was the maiden name of her great grandmother. This all happened in 1989 and today “Kate” is now a student at Princeton University, the alma mater of her Mom and Dad!
Some time ago a letter written by my mother to my brother Dick came into my possession. I have a feeling it was among my brother Dick’s papers, which my nephew Jim Allen was handling. It may have come from there. It is dated October 30, 1947. The letter is a chatty review of recent events and the health of others. One of the events mentioned was a visit to Oblate Junior College in Newburgh, N.Y. where I was. In it she writes, “Paul was a real joy. He seems completely acclimated and content. His letters home each week are a riot. He writes at length and seems interested in everything.” In October 1947 I was in my first year at the college. Even over 60 years later, on reading those words, I can still feel the love and the care my mother had for me! The thoughts too of my writings being “at length and seems interested in everything” could be applicable even today.
November is always remembered as the month in which we offer “Thanks”. Thanksgiving Day is our house was a big day. I recall the woman who pestered President Lincoln until he named it a national holiday. She reminded me of my mom who was seldom deterred in accomplishing something that she believed needed to be done! Our celebration of Thanksgiving was triple fold! Because on that day, particularly if it fell on the 28th day of the month, was my mother’s birthday and she and dad’s wedding day! Even when it wasn’t on that day we celebrated thanks for those events.
The deaths of two of my heroes occurred on the same day November 22,1963, President John F. Kennedy and C.S. Lewis. President Kennedy’s assassination overtook the media so that the news of Lewis’s death was lost. So I didn’t learn of his death until later. He always impressed me with his ability to make seemingly difficult matters clear whether there is reason to believe there is a Supreme Being or that Christ and Christianity shows us the path to eternity with Him. Kennedy’s election in 1960 was my first experience of working for a candidate. I can always recall standing on a corner in West Philadelphia speaking to a small crowd as the why they should vote for Kennedy. Suddenly I noticed a familiar face in the back of the crowd, it was ex-congressman Michael Stack. He had served several terms under President Roosevelt and was the father of a good friend of mine, also called Mike Stack. Mike and I went through two years of college and all of Law School together. He later was a campaign manager for Mayor Tate’s first run for mayor in 1973 and got me a place on the Mayor’s ticket (just because he needed the place filled!) So I was surprised to see Congressman Stack and particularly that he even seemed to be listening to this amateur. I tried to get to see him after the talk but he was gone. The newspapers these days report that they expect a turn out for this Presidential election will be high .
I loved this comment in the St. Petersburg Times, “Thank heavens October’s over. Somehow we made it through the Rays’ playoff run, historic stock market crash, and revved up presidential campaign.” Regarding the campaign I heard comments that it feels like it has been going on since the Truman administration.
“There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads to fortune. That was Shakespeare, and on Tuesday America embraced the sentiment. It was an absolute flood. An African-American man named Barack Obama in now president elect of the United States of America. In his youth and eloquence he upended the politics in this country and suggest there is a new way, a new day. Whether you celebrate this outcome or lament it, the American ideal is true: Anything is possible. We are today a different country than yesterday. This is change.” (St. Petersburg Times front page comment on Tuesday November 4, 2008)
The ‘land of opportunity’ continues. Unfortunately I can’t help but recall a young man being elected 48 years ago who never finished his first term due to an assassin. We pray and hope no such person is out there and is able to repeat that history. But there is no question that this is an historic event in the history of America and the World is taking notice. So now that the election is out of the way we have on only the Ray to come back next time with the title, and hope that the new president and congress can get us back from the economic fall out.
This Thanksgiving we have one more thing to be thankful for that America is still the ‘land of opportunity’ and ‘democracy’ is still working. The number of people voting was as high or higher that ’60 and the number of young people doing so was enormous. So regardless of the outcome, the fact that more people took voting seriously is another plus!
Until next time, Pax Tecum!